Hello World and happy 2019! I know I have been missing in action since…. I don’t know, it’s been a minute. I wish I had a good reason, but the truth is, I don’t. I could tell you how busy my life is and how my days are packed full of activities that I just can’t possibly find the time to sit and write. I could tell you how I’m always either at work or dealing with work. I could tell you that my kids have a never ending range of activities throughout the week that require most of my off time and energy. And I could also tell you that my husband and I work different schedules and we have to work very diligently and creatively to keep our household from collapsing. I could tell you all of these things and more, and while they’re all factual, not one of them is the reason that I have been on the fritz.
No. If I’m being completely honest, which I am, the only real reason for my absence is fear.
Fear of failure.
Fear of judgment.
Fear of not being liked.
Fear of not being good enough.
Fear is a powerful emotion. It’s instilled in us for a reason. It’s sole purpose in our lives is to keep us safe. Fear likes safe. It’s where it is happiest. It’s where it knows that everything will be ok because it knows that you have been there before. Safe is familiar. The problem with safe is that it doesn’t promote change. If you want to be something you’ve never been before, you have to do things you’ve never done before. And that is scary. That means taking a giant step outside of your comfort zone and doing the hard things. Doing the things that make you uncomfortable. Doing the things that scare you.
Rather than using fear as a compass to guide you away from danger, let it be a compass to guide you to exactly where you need to be. Because what’s on the other side of fear, is living. Instead of running away from the things that ignite fear, run towards them and look at that fear as confirmation that you are doing exactly what you need to be doing. If it doesn’t scare you and excite you at the same time, is it even worth pursuing?
Spend some time reflecting on who you are, who you want to be, and what is keeping you from being the you that you were truly created to be. If you aren’t sure who that is, that’s ok. And it’s ok to think you know and decide later that you’ve out grown that version of yourself. That’s the point. Never stop growing and never stop trying to be a better version of yourself.
Over the past several weeks, every time that I have been inspired with content to create, I’ve noticed the following cycle:
Idea. Doubt. Excuse. Procrastinate. Repeat.
Every time, without fail. And what I have also noticed is, the doubt is so minuscule, if I blink, I don’t even realize it’s there. It can be the tiniest glimmer of fear and my brain automatically interjects with a reason why I can’t move forward with my idea. My fear is keeping me safe. If I don’t expose myself in a vulnerable state, then I can’t be hurt. No one will judge me. No one will criticize me. No one will disagree with me. No one will ever read what I have to say. And no one will ever say anything bad about my writing or my ideas. I am safe. But…. is that why we are here? To stay safe?
I believe with everything inside of me that we were all created with a purpose. Without question. Our job is to find that purpose and chase it earnestly. Learning along the way to let go of the fear and insecurities that bind us from being who we really are and embrace our purpose with love and intention.
If we are not careful, fear will forever keep us from living the purpose we were created for. Do not let fear control your life. Do not let fear rob the World of your special contribution. Don’t let your ideas die inside of you because you were too afraid to step outside of your comfort zone. That thing that is in your heart that you love so much and can’t stop thinking about, that’s there for a reason. Do something about it. Quit being afraid and take action. All it takes is being aware of what is holding you back and having the courage to break free from that, one step at a time.
So for me that looks something like this:
Idea. Doubt. Punch doubt in the face. Create. Repeat.
What will it look like for you? How will you break free from your own self sabotage cycle and finally become the you that you were created to be? Let me know in the comments below how you plan to make 2019 the year that you let go of the fear that holds you back.
P.S. After writing this entire post, I had a thought to save it and post it later (maybe). Why? Because as I was proof reading, I thought to myself (doubt), “I’m not saying anything that hasn’t been said before…. wait, have I written about this same thing in the past…. maybe I should go back and look through all of my past posts and make sure I’m not being redundant.” (excuse). Then I got to the end….. Idea. Doubt. Punch doubt in the face. Create. Repeat. And I knew that I had to publish this right away or I’d run the risk of never posting it. So that is what I will do. Because if I am ever to move past fear, I must learn to let it go.